Unless it occurs after the child is awake, bed-wetting (enuresis) is an involuntary act for which he is not responsible. Punishment under those circumstances is unforgiveable and disastrous. He is humiliated by the incident, anyway, and the more frequently it happens, the more foolish he feels about it. The bed-wetter needs considerable reassurance and patience from his mom, and she should try to conceal his problem from those who would laugh at him. Even good-natured humor within the family is painful when it is at his expense.
Bed-wetting has been the subject of much research, and there are several different causes in individual cases. In some children, the problem is physiological, resulting from a small bladder or other physical difficulty. A urologist may be consulted in the diagnosis and treatment of such cases. For others, the problem is unquestionably emotional in origin. Any change in the psychological environment of the home may produce midnight moisture. During summer camps conducted for young children, the directors often put rubber sheets on the beds of all the little visitors. The anxiety associated with being away from home apparently causes a high probability of bed-wetting during the first few nights, and it is particularly risky to be sleeping on one of the lower levels of the stacked bunk beds. There is a third factor that I feel is the most frequent cause of enuresis. During the child's toddler years, he wets the bed because he simply has not mastered night-time bladder control. His mother habitually gets him up at night, taking him to the potty. There he is sound asleep, being told to "go tinkle" or whatever. Thus, as he grows older, the practice continues. When he needs to urinate at night, he dreams he is being told to turn loose; anytime he is partially awakened or disturbed at night, he believes he is being ushered to the bathroom. I would recommend that the parents of older bed-wetters stop getting them up at night, even if the bed-wetting continued for a while. There are other mechanical remedies which work in some cases, such as electronic devices that ring a bell and awaken the child when the urine completes an electrical circuit. A pediatrician or child psychologist can guide you in seeking a solution to this inconvenient problem. In the meantime, it is important to help the child maintain his self-respect despite his embarrassing flaw, and by all means, conceal your displeasure if it exists.